That was the day that broke the camels back. We had a long night and got up late in the afternoon to a sunny summer day. I being the wonderfully stupid house wife that I was at that time, fixed him breakfast then went back to bed to wake your father. We ate breakfast in bed and then umm, well, we took a nap. Mike visibly squirmed in his seat. Frances noticed and moved along. I thought it was going to be a good day even special in some way. I mean it was a perfect storybook day. The sky was blue; there were big puffy white clouds in wonderful shapes. The birds were chirping to nature’s song. But alas in my old age I have come to realized that was just wishful thinking on my part. I see that now and I feel that it is better to learn later then to never learn at all.
As soon as we got outside the apartment it was like we were at the dealership, he just kept gawking at all the younger models of me. Like women are cars and the sidewalk was the show room or display lot. After we passed 8th Ave. we headed towards Washington Square.
Since I was feeling romantic because of the way the night had ended and the morning had started, I wanted to spend the whole day alone as a couple. Basking in the glow of love, I wanted to take all the steps needed to make sure I would have a day to remember. I should have known then that I was on the long one-way street of love by myself and because of that I would not have a day to remember, instead I had a day to forget but could not.
Michael agreed with me that spending the day together would be fun and romantic. He also was motivated by the thought of blowing off the snobby newly weds the Stevenson’s. We had planed to drive in the country with them but that was out of social guilt not choice. I was so happy, I kissed him but did he kiss me back? No, two timing asshole just politely informed me as if I was a school child that “this is 5th Avenue.” Like he has lived a dignified life or something. How dignified is it to gawk at young women while your wife of many years is holding your arm, standing or sitting next to you?
Anyway, we sat down and started to go over what we should do with the rest of our lovely Sunday. At the time I believed that I could somehow, someway repair this day or at least salvage what remains of it. While I was shooting out ideas for what we should do, he was having ideas of his own. Not one woman that walked by lost his lustfully glances. When I told him he is always looking at other women. The prick looked me in the eyes and with out any shame what so ever delivered that male patented line. “God gave me eyes so I use them. I look but do not touch.” The same old tired cliché. It’s like you guys are thought that at birth or something. It makes me sick. As we were walking to get what had become some much needed drinks. Your father told me that he had never touched another woman. I had been told otherwise by friends of mine but never paid them much attention. I had never before had a reason not to believe my husband, your father. But when he repeated that he had never touched another women for the sixth time in a span of three minutes, it became clear that he was trying to convince himself just as much as me.
I told him how I feel when he looks at other women. I said that it felt terrible but in retrospect it is worse then that. It is like being able to watch from afar as your best friend stabs you in the back over and over again. No, it really feels like you are losing the one you love each time. You build up your significant other as the only one for you, as your soul mate and when that mate looks at others the same way he looks at you, you feel lost and start to doubt there commitment to you.
He… France continued despite fighting back tears which are proof even though she acts like she has moved on the pain in her heart has not yet nor will it ever really be healed. Your father told me that he wants them all. He wants every single woman he looks at but yet he insist that he has never done anything about the feeling. You hear me Mike? Without any regard for my feelings, your father the bastard said blatantly that he wants other women. I asked him point blank would he cheat on me someday and he said yes. Why did I stay with him after that conversation is beyond me. I did and just six months later he did cheat on me.
Mike began to ask the question he always wanted to ask his mother but was cut of in mid sentence. Yes, Mike. It was with your mother that he cheated on me with. Your mother is a good woman. I do not blame her in any way for what your father did. Mr. Stevenson although not at all happy about what transpired, did what I could not; he remained with your mother as if nothing had happened. I on the other had had found the courage to divorce your father but you know what? There is not a day that I do not think about him because I did then as I do now and always will love him. But he still looks at other women. I guess that is why he is on his fourth wife now. He only sees women as girls, girls in pretty summer dresses.
No comments:
Post a Comment